We were stood in the smoking area- quite a group of us. And somehow the conversation turned to terminology for boobs/breasts/tits/jugs/etc. I claimed that I think it is derogatory for a man to call boobs "tits" unless you're having a sexy conversation. This then led to the question- what do you call a mans willy/cock/dick/etc. Which then somehow led to the question- could you walk up to a bloke and say "give us a feel of your cock". I said this was ridiculous and that any man would be like woah WHAT. 

At the same time as making this statement, I spotted an extremely handsome man walking down the road. Tall, dark hair, muscley, handsome... And drunk Lucy decided to approach him. 

"Excuse me- can I use you as part of an experiment?", I chirped. He looked at me bewildered and said "Of course". I then said to him "If I were to walk up to you and say: Give us a feel of your cock... would you be like 'fuck off'... or would you be like 'sure go for it'?". He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I said "fuck.. it's the latter isn't it"- with which he smiled even more and nodded slowly... all I could think was... wow, you are so hot!

The conversation carried on- I had clearly been proven wrong. Drunken Lucy was swaying all over the place, and decided the best way to prevent any embarrassment was to lean on said handsome man- who seemed awfully familiar- but I couldn't work out why. But he was the perfect height for leaning. 

I don't really know how it happened, but it became increasingly clear to me- that I would probably be going home with this guy. My friends asked where him and his friend live- and we found that they were staying in the hotel just across the road- the Radisson Blu- here for one night- had been here for business through the day. My flatmate was out with me, and I didn't know if he had keys or not. So I was weighing up in my mind whether I should give him keys- or if that would leave me stranded.. I don't really remember properly- but I remember thinking it was a very big decision to make. Anyway, I excused myself from standing with Mr Radisson's arm around me and said I would be back in a minute. 

I went to find my gay friend Dan. I trust his opinion in pretty much everything. He is always honest- like that kind of brutally honest- where you know if he actually likes something because he really wouldn't say it if he doesn't. The amount of times he has said to me... "What have you done to your hair?!" 

"Dan" I said "See the really handsome guy over there, grey shirt... shall I go home with him tonight...?" Dan searched the crowd and spotted who I meant... "Yes! Do it do it do it!" He told me. So I then went to my flatmate. Established the fact he had keys- which was wonderful- if I needed to leave the hotel then I could go home etc. 

I went back over to Mr Radisson, who I think thought that I may have run away, and told him boldly that I would be going home with him tonight. One of my friends then came over to me and asked if we would need a condom. I looked up at Mr Radisson, and said "I don't know. Do we?" "Yes". So she shoved a handful of condoms in to his hand, gave me a huge kiss on the cheek- told me to be safe and to text her in the morning". 

So, off we went, me and Mr Radisson. His arm around me. I almost didn't know what to say. I was giggly drunk at this point- slightly embarrassed- I couldn't believe I was literally just going back to this guys hotel room... Oh well, hotels are safe- I told myself. Haha. 

I still couldn't understand who he looked like- I was certain I had seen his face before- but he wasn't from around here, he was from Edinburgh and was leaving to go back tomorrow- strange. 

We walked in to the lobby of the hotel, we went in the lift. We kissed. What a lovely kiss. Quite breath taking really. The lift doors opened. He held my hand and took me to his room. He couldn't work out how to work the key card- I opened the door. Rather nice hotel room. I noted the fact that his stuff was folded very neatly on the side. 

He grabbed me, and we started kissing. Kissing. Kissing. I struggle to remember the order of everything that happened next. This when I can tell how drunk I was. I literally have a mind blank. Kissing. Then, the next thing I can remember, oh yes- was his head between my legs. My knickers were still on. No trousers though. Can't remember about top/no top. Another mind blank... and my pants are off- I am totally naked- so is he. And he is there, with those beautiful blue eyes looking up at me from between my legs. He was good at this. Oh yes, yes he was. 

So I only really remember bits and pieces of the night. I remember the fact that he ordered a bottle of champagne to the room. That we drank it, between our sexual activities. He fucked my mouth whilst I lay on the bed with my head hanging off the edge of it upside down. I sat on his face. He fingered me. Time and time again.

But, I have to stress this. I have never been fingered so well in my life. Mr Radisson really really knew how to do it. Oh my god. (I think that's all I said all night!) Like, literally, it was so good. 

Basically- we drank champagne and made each other cum until about 6am. (Remember I had uni at 9:30am). He didn't just simply make me cum though, I need you to know. I have never ever ever ever ever came so many times in the whole of my sexual experiences I have had ever. WOW. 

The sex was the sexiest roughest most brilliant sex. I really needed it. I experienced climax after beautiful climax. I kept wanting more. So did he. After a while, we lay on his bed. Naked. Starfishing. Holding hands. "Nice to meet you, I'm Lucy" I said... "Pleasure to meet you Lucy, I'm Mr Radisson". He said, whilst rolling on top of me... it began again. He kept telling me he wanted to make me cum. Oh my god... that's all I did! The bed sheets were covered, literally, soaked through with my cum. He came all over my tits. Which I find such a massive turn on. We were a mess. It was sexually magnificent. I had never never sex like it. It was like kinky choking each other type of sex. 

Before we knew it, it was 6am. We decided we must go to sleep. We fell asleep all entwined, spooing and holding hands. We were talking and kept getting all horny and excited again. We established the fact that the chances were we would never see each other again as he was leaving tomorrow- but he asked to take my number anyway just in case. I said that I would give it to him in the morning. Eventually we rolled over to sleep. 

I woke up, it was 7am. Mr Radisson was cuddled up against me, fully naked- such a nice bum! (Oh and didn't mention before- PERFECT PENIS). He was snoring away. I decided not to wake him for more sex. I was probably going to struggle to walk after the antics we had already had anyway! 

I went through to the bathroom and had a wee. Using the light of my phone, I crept around the room looking for my clothes that were strewn all over the place. I got dressed. I found a notepad by the side of the bed. And wrote:

Rate the date:7/10

Well, essentially it wasn't a date- but as we had actually matched on tinder. In a weird kind of way I suppose it was. And as we had sex. Fabulous sex. I suppose it was a date. We drank champagne. That's classy? No?

Thanks for reading guys, don't forget to follow us on Twitter in order to keep updated with our stories!